Candy Crush...

Most people have a strong faith of something that they call love... Me? Honestly, i swear I'm still trying to but i can tell you that it ain't simple and not as easy as abc... They said great things won't appear in front of your door just because you knocked... Sometimes they might surprised you with another great adventure or a hard test to challenge you to another level... Just like paying candy crush where you need to be persistence and patience... I keep on asking myself whether or not the patience is still exist but the truth is I have no idea... I think the pain is still there and this is not me who's talking in a negative manner... Seriously, apart from working so hard to get better after the surgery, I am also struggling to heal my swollen soul... I am happy that the bruises is disappearing but the scar that I have in my heart is still thick no matter how religiously I applied the scar removal gel... I hate to feel down or sad... And I hate the fact that i hate it because hate is still hate and hatred can kill you... All I wanted is to be happy but happiness seems to be too big of a word for me... Will there be any room of happiness left for me? I don't want to feel like a child whom finally discover that Santa didn't exist... It's important to strongly believe in something and to be able to hold on to it... I wish I could simply turn off my humanity like a vampire so that I won't feel a thing but the beauty of life itself is by being a perfect human... I love being human but I really wish I could taste the essence of happiness instead of just wanting it... I think the whole series of misery that I went through all this while was a karma but it has been 5 seasons if this stories of mine was a movie and don't tell me that they want to continue with season six? Oh dear! Anyone would be tumbling down the hill if they were in this situation... Coughing badly still to top it all... What else is coming? Hmmmmm...

Nobody said it was easy... Suddenly, "The Scientist" run in my head... Chin up lil soldier (keep telling myself that) each time I am about to crush...