Over...

You know what? I'm done with you and through with this... 

The chase is over...

Exoskeleton...

Hi again... Hmmm it has been day 15 since my recent surgery... I'm not going to lie and pretend that everything is fine because the truth is i'm not... As my usual self i would normally just flaunt my hard shell and proudly show the world that i'm a brave warrior but this time around i think i failed... How could one care so much about you and become a complete stranger within a split second? i just can't seem to understand that simple thing that had happen and I definitely in denial of the existence of the word "over"... Suddenly, I hate this wheel chair that I always depend on to move on... Maybe i just needed something or at least someone to blame for causing me to feel the way I am feeling now... You know, this blue black bruises that i'm having right after the surgery is surprisingly less painful than the pain that i have in my heart right now... Then, in this very moment, i do realized that when a crab has recently molted its old exoskeleton, it has a soft shell... It is more vulnerable than ever... Note to self: Stop the crap u crappy crab!

Pedih

Assalamualaikum semua... Macam lah wujud semua disini... Kan cuma hanya ada kita... Haih... Tak tau lah kawanku... 7 hari terlantar macam mimpi ngeri berulang kembali... Sedih sebab memang susungguhnya kita ni takda sesiapa kan... Kita ni dipenuhi mereka-mereka yang sebenarnya tak pernah kesahpun pada kita... Dia yang kita ingat akan dekat dengan kita bila kita perlu kan sangat dia pun sangat mengecewakan... Kita memang tak bole harapkan sesiapa... Kita kena lari dari kesakitan ini... Kita perlu tidur dan kena belajar untuk tidur nyenyak ditemani mimpi indah sebab alam jaga tak menjanjikan apa-apa untuk kita hanya pedih...

Bunion...

An awkward hi to begin this entry with... Hmmm a long paused... I thought I am strong and as tough as I seemed to be but I'm just a softie somehow... The number one used to be my dream but i guess now i wouldn't mind the number two which i'm always against all this while... Sigh... Maybe i changed... Perhaps, being a typical human, when you finally get what you wish for, all of a sudden you realised that you no longer wanting it... One word to sums it all "ungrateful"... So, here's the thing, is it wrong to want someone to be there for you to hold you tight and to convince you that everything is going to be alright especially when you are totally scared of something big? Yes, the agreement was different but you are just a little baby girl... Words could be a killer if you convey it wrongly... I might ended up with zero once again which hurt me more than a surgery... By the way, I had a bunion surgery recently and damn it's painful... Bunion is not bunian ok...