Smoulder...

It's been more than a month without a trace... I thought i could just let it go, and be done, and over with, but, i wonder why i just couldn't... I'm wounded still, but i'm just hesitate with the fact that it's just a matter of time for me to remain as calm as possible with the healing process... Honestly, i just wanted to smother or suffocate that particular douchebag to death... Some how, my inner self tell me not to... If i am the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland, i could demand ''off with his head'' but i am not even a tiny bit of her... I wish i could just smash something valuable that belongs to that douchebag but how could i? Will it be worth it? I know deep down inside of me whispering 'it was just a ridiculous idea of mine'... Man, i think i talk nonsense nowadays and i'm seriously aware that i shouldn't, but why am i still talking gibberish? You're complety have lost your mind... Really? I think i am awake and my eyes are wide open but why am i still acting this weird? Still with endless questions and puzzle in my head... I think i know exactly what had happen to me with all this resentment... It does make sense now... All i know right now is i'm smoulder with too much anger and hatred in me... I shouldn't...